Mediation
In detail and all around it
Unresolved conflicts do not remain without consequences and might escalate further
The nine escalation stages of a conflict according to Mr. Friedrich Glasl¹
Source: Glasl, F. (2024). Konfliktmanagement: ein Handbuch für Führung, Beratung und Mediation (13. Aufl., S. 243). Bern : Haupt.
1st Stage: Hardening
There are different opinions that conflict with each other.
2nd Stage: Debates and polemics
There is a divergence of opinion, with both parties providing robust justifications for their respective positions. The opinion of the other party becomes increasingly less significant.
3rd Stage: Actions, not words
They stick to their own position and express their displeasure.
4th Stage: Images and coalitions
The difference of opinion has turned into a conflict. Allies are sought to support their own position.
5th Stage: Loss of face
The opposing party is publicly criticised and denounced in a negative light.
6th Stage: Strategies of threats
In der sechsten Stufe des Eskalationsmodells von Herrn Friedrich Glasl wird versucht über den Opponenten Kontrolle zu erlangen und ihn mittels Drohungen zur Aufgabe zu zwingen.
7th Stage: Limited destructive blows
Threats become the first actions that violate the moral code.
8th Stage: Fragmentation of the enemy
The conflict has progressed to the point where the parties realise that they can only defeat their opponent individually, i.e. without the support of allies. Consequently, they attack their opponent’s network and endeavour to isolate them.
9th Stage: Together into the abyss
The final stage of the conflict has been reached. The individual is so hurt that they are prepared to fall into the abyss themselves if they can drag the – in their view – guilty perpetrator into the abyss with them.
This is how mediation works:
Many of us hesitate because they don’t know what to expect. But it is precisely the structured process of mediation that creates the security needed to speak openly. Conflicts are complex. The path to resolution doesn’t have to be. In Munich, at HOUSE OF MEDIATION, your mediation follows a clear, structured process.
Free initial consultation
Analysis and preparation
Structured mediation
Based on the V-phase model, I guide you step by step: From understanding the background to finding a joint, sustainable solution. Depending on your needs, I work with individual discussions, joint meetings or thematic stages – e.g. in family or international B2B conflicts.
Binding agreement
Implementation security
Two approaches to conducting mediation
Round Table
The mediation process features a series of joint discussions involving all parties to the conflict, spread over several mediation sessions. One-to-one meetings between the mediator and the parties to the conflict only take place when necessary.
Advantages and disadvantages
Diese Form der Mediation stellt einen größeren Werkzeugkasten für Ihre Konfliktlösung bereit. Diverse Instrumente innerhalb der Mediation sind ausschließlich mit der Gegenwart aller Parteien möglich.
Weiterhin ist an einem runden Tisch ein dynamischer Gesprächsfluss zwischen allen Beteiligten des Konflikts vorhanden. Dadurch können Sie
- aufkommende Gesprächsthemen unmittelbar zu einer Klärung bringen,
- die Gegenseite(n) in einer anderen Tiefe verstehen, als in der Shuttle Mediation, in welcher Sie ausschließlich vorbereitete Informationen erhalten,
- die andere(n) Konfliktpartei(en) für Ihre Interessen gewinnen, sich gegenseitig inspirieren und gemeinsame Lösungen entwickeln.
Ein großer Nachteil dieser Form der Mediation ist, dass Emotionen in einem Überraschungsmoment überhand gewinnen. Auch wenn die Gesprächsführung durch die mediierende Person ihr Möglichstes gibt, kann es zu einem erhöhten Stresslevel bei Ihnen und / oder der anderen Partei(en) führen.
Daneben kann es bei einem streng getakteten Zeitplan, bei mehreren Personen und / oder Betriebszugehörigkeiten bzw. Wohnsitzen in unterschiedlichen Ländern herausfordernd sein, einen gemeinsamen Termin zu finden.
Trotz dieser Herausforderungen spricht sich HOUSE OF MEDIATION für eine Mediation in Präsenz an einem runden Tisch aus, weil die durch die Gesprächsdynamik hervorgerufene Qualität des Gesprächs eine beziehungsschonende Konfliktlösung mehr in den Mittelpunkt stellt.
Shuttle Mediation
The mediation process features a series of one-to-one meetings between the parties to the conflict and the mediator. A mediator acts as a go-between on a diplomatic mission.
Advantages and disadvantages
Ein Vorteil dieser Form der Mediation ist, dass Sie zu der anderen Partei physische Distanz halten. Die Shuttle Mediation kann online stattfinden und ein persönliches Treffen mit der anderen Partei ist nicht notwendig.
Auch bestimmen Sie in Absprache mit der mediierenden Person, wie und wann welche Informationen an die andere(n) Konfliktpartei(en) weitergegeben werden. Sie können Ihre Bedenken und Erwartungen der mediierenden Person anvertrauen. Im Kontrast zum gemeinsamen Gespräch am runden Tisch besteht kein Risiko, in einem Moment der Unachtsamkeit sensible Daten – ungewollt – preiszugeben.
Auf der anderen Seite bedeutet das auch, dass versöhnende Aussagen und Eingeständnisse nicht zwangsläufig an Sie übermittelt werden. Die Gründe dafür sind variabel, z.B. dass das Gesagte ein beiläufiger Nebensatz war und / oder der Mediator eine klare Vorgabe im Sinne der Vertraulichkeit durch die Konfliktparteien erhalten hat. Im Fall einer Übermittlung ist meine Erfahrung, dass ein versöhnendes Wort durch die dritte Person an Gewicht und Ernsthaftigkeit verliert.
Daneben verfügt Shuttle Mediation im Vergleich zum runden Tisch über weniger Freiräume für spontane Ideen und Gedankengänge, die zu einer individuellen Lösung führen und damit den Kuchen vergrößern. Der Fokus liegt verhältnismäßig schnell auf einer ausschließlich sachlichen Lösung und das gemeinsame Potenzial in einer Fortführung der Zusammenarbeit auf Beziehungsebene wird im Prozeßablauf übersehen.
HOUSE OF MEDIATION rät darum tendenziell zu einer Mediation in Form eines runden Tisches und gewichtige Gründe können eine Shuttle Mediation zu einer wertvollen Alternative machen.
Responsibilities of a mediator
During mediation, a mediator takes on up to seven roles. Mediation is effective through the skilful use of these roles and the discussion phases, which are coordinated in line with the dynamics of the process.
Entertainer
Role: Creating a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere for the conversation by e.g. telling anecdotes, scents or room design.
Salesman / saleswoman
Role: Pressure and persuasion to concede by e.g. elements from game theory, presentation of alternatives or outlook on opportunities.
Creator of options
Role: Providing creative techniques (e.g. brainstorming, card inquiry, scenario development, etc.) to find solutions.
Agent of reality
Role: Developing a common baseline for the issue through e.g. caucus (one-on-one) or SWOT analysis of the current state.
Translator
Role: Ensuring the flow of communication through e.g. intercultural competence, visualization of content or reduction to the essentials.
Messenger
Role: Delivering and receiving offers from the parties.
Family doctor
Role: Shaping of mutual understanding by means of e.g. change of perspective, retrospection or highlighting of appreciative statements.
Styles of the mediator
When conducting mediation, mediators may opt for a particular mediation style. Regardless of this freedom of choice, we can assume that every mediator will bring their own personal touch to the process. At the same time, dividing the spectrum into three categories has proved to be a useful guide in the context of mediation:
Transformative style:
In this approach, the individual and their personality are at the heart of the mediation process. Mediation primarily helps us to resolve the conflict at the level of our relationship. The parties to the conflict embark on a journey towards that ‘aha’ moment.
Facilitative style:
The facilitative style is characterised by a wide range of questions, without going into too much depth. It lies midway between the other two styles and can, so to speak, be seen as a link between them. In doing so, it combines the relational and the factual levels.
Evaluative style:
In contrast to the transformative approach, this approach focuses on the factual level of mediation. This primarily helps us to resolve the conflict with regard to our legal rights. The parties to the conflict seek a solution at a practical level.
Conclusion:
In contrast to this theoretical description, in practice one can observe a blending of the three styles. From HOUSE OF MEDIATION’s perspective, the needs of the parties to the conflict take precedence, and an individualised approach must be adopted depending on the situation. Generally speaking, I would classify myself as following the facilitative style.
Conversation flow
4 PHASES OF SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION
In theory, the flow of conversation in mediation follows the pattern shown in the diagram.
In phases 1 and 2, the mediators talk exclusively to me. If necessary, I translate what is said into a more pleasant language. In phase 3, the conversation between the mediators slowly opens up. In phase 4 of the option development, I increasingly withdraw. Contrary to the diagram, in practice there is often still increased activity on the part of the mediator during option selection in particular, but that is what I am there for.
Characteristics
WHAT MAKES MEDIATION
Mediation is an empowerment-based process. There is no verdict here. Its characteristic feature is that the conflict parties find a solution themselves. The mediator provides all-partial, neutral and independent support. All-partial is to say that the mediator takes sides equally for all points of view. The mediator does not silently look on impartially, but thinks his or her way into each conflict position. This thinking is value-free for the mediator; he/she provides neutral ground for all thoughts and statements of the conflict parties. Furthermore, the mediator is free of own interests and acts independently.
Saving resources
through mediation
Mediation promotes sustainability. It dispenses with the judgment of third parties, such as a judge. Conflict solutions can therefore only be agreed by mutual consent. Mutual agreement means consensus and approval of the outcome discussed. Voluntariness ensures implementation. This can be of particular importance in cross-border conflicts.
Mediation protects relationships. The mediator protects against injury and reinforces respectful communication. Verbal attacks are prevented and appreciative statements are repeated. Mutual trust is maintained and usually strengthened. Cooperation is continued.
Conflict discussions using mediation are constructive. The procedural steps of mediation build on each other in a dynamic process. This means that relevant topics are negotiated in depth and side issues remain side issues. For example, after the first phase – building trust – the past or current situation is discussed before moving on to finding a solution. A common thread ensures that the conflict is dealt with in a goal-oriented manner.
Mediation is confidential. Before mediation begins, the persons who will take part in it are specified in the mediation agreement. Sensitive information thus remains locked behind the walls of the mediation and does not reach third parties, such as reporters and competitors. Violations may be punishable under criminal law.
Conflict resolution through mediation is effective. Mediation allocates time directly to the conflict by addressing the conflict face-to-face. Employees and managers can get on with their actual day-to-day business because they are not tied down by processes within the conflict (e.g. when communicating with law firms and courts). Corporate objectives thus remain largely unaffected by the conflict.
Mediation is efficient. Appointments can be made immediately and any costs incurred are usually shared between the parties to the conflict. This saves time and money. Resources are conserved.
Thinking ahead
THROUGH MEDIATION CLAUSES
In the event of a dispute, it can be difficult to persuade the other party to agree to a meeting.
HOUSE OF MEDIATION therefore recommends acting with foresight and taking preventive measures. Discuss with your contractual partner, right from the outset when signing the contract, how you will proceed in the event of a conflict arising. Ideally, you should set out both the procedure and the service provider in writing.
EUCON (European Institute for Conflict Management) provides templates for this purpose, such as mediation clauses, which you can adapt to suit your needs.